9.02.2012
Mother Superior On Her Deathbed
In a convent in Ireland, the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it.
One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
Back at Mother Superior's bed, they held the glass to her lips. The frail nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.
As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader.
"Mother,"the nuns asked earnestly. "Please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us."
She raised herself up in bed on one elbow, looked at them and said:
"DON'T SELL THAT COW."
via Cousin Joe
Labels: catholic jokes, Irish jokes, milk jokes, nun jokes, whisky jokes
8.19.2008
An E-mail from the Auld Sod
Courtesy of Joe Lo Pue...
An e-mail from Ireland to all of their brethren in the States... a point to ponder despite your political affiliation:
"We, in Ireland, can't figure out why you people are even bothering to hold an election in the United States.
"On one side, you had a pants-wearing female lawyer, married to another lawyer who can't seem to keep his pants on, who just lost a long and heated primary against a lawyer, who goes to the wrong church, who is married to yet another lawyer, who doesn't even like the country her husband wants to run!
"Now... on the other side, you have a nice old war hero whose name starts with the appropriate 'Mc' terminology, married to a good-looking younger woman who owns a beer distributorship!
"What in God's name are ya lads thinkin' over in the colonies ?"
An e-mail from Ireland to all of their brethren in the States... a point to ponder despite your political affiliation:
"We, in Ireland, can't figure out why you people are even bothering to hold an election in the United States.
"On one side, you had a pants-wearing female lawyer, married to another lawyer who can't seem to keep his pants on, who just lost a long and heated primary against a lawyer, who goes to the wrong church, who is married to yet another lawyer, who doesn't even like the country her husband wants to run!
"Now... on the other side, you have a nice old war hero whose name starts with the appropriate 'Mc' terminology, married to a good-looking younger woman who owns a beer distributorship!
"What in God's name are ya lads thinkin' over in the colonies ?"
Labels: Bill Clinton jokes, Hillary Clinton jokes, Irish jokes, McCain jokes, Obama jokes, political jokes
