6.01.2008
A Blonde Gets A Flat Tire...
Forwarded by Brian Lehrhoff
A blonde's car gets flat tire on the Interstate, so she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk; takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic.
The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers.
Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up. It wasn't long before a police car arrived. The officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What is going on here?"
"My car broke down, officer, " says the woman calmly.
"Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?" asks the officer.
"Helllllooooo, those are my emergency flashers!"
A blonde's car gets flat tire on the Interstate, so she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk; takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic.
The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers.
Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up. It wasn't long before a police car arrived. The officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What is going on here?"
"My car broke down, officer, " says the woman calmly.
"Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?" asks the officer.
"Helllllooooo, those are my emergency flashers!"
Labels: blonde jokes, breakdown joke, car joke
REPLACEMENT WINDOWS
Forwarded by Bruce Faber
Pretend you're blonde.
Pretend you're blonde.
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.
Hellloooo... just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!
"Helllooooo? It's been a year!" I told him.
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up. He never called back. Guess I won that stupid argument.
I bet he felt like an idiot.
Labels: blonde jokes, windows
Redneck Pickup Lines
Forwarded by: Bruce Faber
1) Did you fart? Cuz you just blew me away.
2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.
3) My love fer you is like diarrhea, I can't hold it in.
4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to check you out.
5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in 'em.
6) If you was a tree and I were a squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.
7) You might not be the best lookin' girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.
8) Fat penguin. Sorry, I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.
9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed rock.
10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin', we kin sleep 'til afternoon.
13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
1) Did you fart? Cuz you just blew me away.
2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.
3) My love fer you is like diarrhea, I can't hold it in.
4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to check you out.
5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in 'em.
6) If you was a tree and I were a squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.
7) You might not be the best lookin' girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.
8) Fat penguin. Sorry, I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.
9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed rock.
10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin', we kin sleep 'til afternoon.
13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
Labels: men and women, pickup lines, redneck
