9.02.2012
The Pregnant Jewish Girl
A 25-year-old Jewish girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period
for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a
pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting and crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to
you? I want to know!!!" Without answering, the girl picks up the phone
and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Mercedes stops in front of their
house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and wearing a
yarmulke steps out of the car and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and
tells them, "Your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry
her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will
pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
"Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath two retail furniture
stores, a deli, a condo in Miami , and a $1,000,000 bank account."
"If a boy is born, my legacy will be a chain of jewelry stores and a
$25,000,000 bank account."
"However, if there is a miscarriage, I'm not sure what to do. What do
you suggest?"
All silent at this point, the mother placed a hand firmly on the man's
shoulder and tells him, "So, you'll try again."
via Cousin Joe
Labels: Jewish jokes, mother jokes, pregnancy joke, rich man jokes
10.24.2010
Pregnancy Class
Via Brian L:
The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.
She said "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just take several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."
She looked at the men in the room, "and Gentlemen, remember -- you're in this together -- it wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her."
The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information. Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.
"Yes", answered the Instructor.
"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
---- This kind of sensitivity just can't be taught.
The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.
She said "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just take several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."
She looked at the men in the room, "and Gentlemen, remember -- you're in this together -- it wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her."
The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information. Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.
"Yes", answered the Instructor.
"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
---- This kind of sensitivity just can't be taught.
Labels: golf joke, men and women, pregnancy joke
