2.11.2012

 

Jewish Jokes


Q: Why did Adam and Eve have a perfect marriage?
A: He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked




Q: What business is a yenta in?
A: Yours



Q: How do Jewish wives get their children ready for dinner?
A: They put them in the car



Q: What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long?
A: Nothing at all



Q: Define "genius"
A: An average student with a Jewish mother



Q: If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?
A: A fur coat


Q: What mechanical device causes the most arousal in a Jewish woman?
A: A Mercedes 550SL convertible



Jewish proverb: "A Jewish wife will forgive and forget, but she'll never forget what she forgave."




One of life's mysteries - how a 2 Ib. box of chocolates can make a Jewish woman gain 5 lbs.




Another of life's mysteries is when a Jewish woman hangs something in her wardrobe for a while and it shrinks two sizes!



The trouble with some Jewish women is that they get all excited about nothing; then they marry him.

Source: Brian L.

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