A Laugh A Minute

The Sheik and the Scotsman

An Arab Sheik was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his type of blood in case the need arose.        As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so the call went out. Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.                After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman, in appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW, diamonds and $50,000 dollars. A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. The hospital telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate his blood again. After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Laura Secord chocolates. The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you'd be generous again, that you would give me another BMW, diamonds and money...but you only gave me a thank-you card and a box of chocolates." To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins"...

Labels: arab jokes, hospital jokes, Scottish jokes

A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.The store clerks
called 999 when they saw him collapse to the floor.

The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency
open heart bypass surgery.

He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the
Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard
loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to
pay for his treatment.

"Do you have health insurance?" she asked.

He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"

He replied, "No money in the bank."

Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the
irritated nun.

He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."

The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters!
Nuns are married to God."

The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."


via LoBro

Labels: heart attack jokes, hospital jokes, nun jokes, religious joke