10.12.2013
How the internet got created----
In case you didn't know... :)~
In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, Large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.
And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).
And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."
And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known.
He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."
And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham.
And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.
It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).
That is how it all began.
And that's the truth.....because as we all know, everything on the internet is TRUE......
Labels: Bible jokes, computer jokes, Internet jokes
5.30.2011
How the Internet Started
Via Bill Hibler
Subject: How the Internet started
How the Internet started:-
A revelation with an Incredibly Big Message (IBM):
Well, you might have thought that you knew how the Internet started,
but here's the TRUE story ....
In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of
Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.
Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband: "Why dost thou travel so far
from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever
leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her - as though she were several saddle bags
short of a camel load, but simply said: "How, dear?"
And Dot replied: "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in
between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will
reply telling you who hath the best price.
And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's
Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with
the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success.
Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever
having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were
saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It
was called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a
language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP)
But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete
himself inside Abraham's drum and began to siphon off some of
Abraham's business. But he was soon discovered, arrested and
prosecuted for insider trading.
And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy
horsefly take to camel dung.
They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the
deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were
going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who
bought off every drum maker in the land.
And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with
Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say: "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken
over by others."
And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to
be known. He said: "We need a name that reflects what we are."
And Dot replied: "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO,"
said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot
Com.
Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic
Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to
locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God's
Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE)
...... and that is how it all began.
Subject: How the Internet started
How the Internet started:-
A revelation with an Incredibly Big Message (IBM):
Well, you might have thought that you knew how the Internet started,
but here's the TRUE story ....
In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of
Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.
Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband: "Why dost thou travel so far
from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever
leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her - as though she were several saddle bags
short of a camel load, but simply said: "How, dear?"
And Dot replied: "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in
between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will
reply telling you who hath the best price.
And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's
Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with
the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success.
Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever
having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were
saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It
was called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a
language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP)
But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete
himself inside Abraham's drum and began to siphon off some of
Abraham's business. But he was soon discovered, arrested and
prosecuted for insider trading.
And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy
horsefly take to camel dung.
They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the
deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were
going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who
bought off every drum maker in the land.
And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with
Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say: "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken
over by others."
And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to
be known. He said: "We need a name that reflects what we are."
And Dot replied: "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO,"
said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot
Com.
Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic
Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to
locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God's
Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE)
...... and that is how it all began.
Labels: computer jokes, Internet jokes, religious joke
10.10.2010
Vegetative State
Via Brian:
Last night, my daughter and I were sitting in the living room and I said
to her, “I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some
machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the
plug.”
She got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine
She is SOOOO on my shit list!
Last night, my daughter and I were sitting in the living room and I said
to her, “I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some
machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the
plug.”
She got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine
She is SOOOO on my shit list!
Labels: computer jokes, old age joke, pulling the plug joke
